The Wit Of Wright…

(JUST A MINUTE)    Steven Wright has busted up just as many audiences as Gallagher has melons! Here’s a few of his thoughts…


Steven Wright

Steven Wright


  1. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good”
  2. “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths”
  3. “I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday”
  4. “Everything is within walking distance if you have the time”
  5. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?”
  6. “Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country”
  7. “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five”
  8. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
  9. “Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?”
  10. “I installed a skylight in my apartment…the people who live above me are furious”
  11. “Curiosity killed the cat. But for a while, I was a suspect”
  12. “I was trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering”
  13. “Whenever I think of the past it brings back so many memories”
  14. “I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time”
  15. “I like to reminisce with people I don’t know”


I guess you CAN make this stuff up!

*REF: “”


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